White Coats

White coats
Blue coats doctors
Rushing around
Looking at their watch
5 doctors all at once
Surrounding my bed
Looking at my number
Not at me
Who am I
Don’t eat, nil by mouth
Heres your medication
Which one do you want
Suppository up your arse
You do it they say put it up your own arse
Blue coats white coat
Doctors and nurses
screaming patients vomiting
Patient dead
Clean up bed no one needs to know
Night doctors on duty
Fear, demons are out
its cold close the window
No the nurse says
A heavy vibe, dark pictures on the walls
Drips needles heavy doors
Vomit green expulsion from mouth
what is this tell me
help me help me please
Lights out I’m scared
Demons about
The Pain in my body is so intense pain so intense
Injections in your bum to numb that pain
No release still pain
Hallucinations from the morphine
I want to end it
Can’t take no more
my daughter is here
she sees my pain
too much for her
not fair
Son reads the bible
Helping me keep the faith
Giving me strength


Nurse says
Women They f****d you up
Who am I
Bleep Bleep Bleep
Get the wheel chair
Give her a blanket
Another procedure
Exposed naked
body on show naked.


Holes in back
Punctured whilst I’m awake
Nurse squeezes my hand Pull up you clothes


No emotion I feel violated
Like a prostitute lying there
Doing what they want.
Who am I
Clanging of instruments


Leaking in stomach
Nurses notices my body failing
Leaving this world
Gives drip just in time, just in time.
No food weight decrease
No substitute
Who cares


Scars on my belly
Looking at me trying to reassure
But her face tells the truth.
More pain for this patient
who came in and never left


Vomiting diarrhoea
Put her in isolation
No I scream No
They will kill me
No paranoia just fear


Nurse comes to my bed
and cries a noisy cry
Saying she is so sorry what I am
Going through
I thank her for caring the only one
who did
Nurse leaves medicine cabinet open
What if I wanted to end it well I don’t
No other person deserves this
Sorry doesn’t need to be the hardest word
Don’t hide my notes
I want the truth
I just want the truth
Lesson must be learnt
I want justice
I want change!!!
I want change
I want change!!!!!!


© Maureen Tuitt